because complimants make for a good day.

lately i just get to feeling really sad and down. because i feel unwanted and unneeded. i feel like i don't fit in. i feel like i'm that wierd physco girl. because i am. at jr. high acceptance is a hard thing. you don't want to be a burden on anyone, you don't want to be anyones chore. you just want people to love you for who you are....
you know those days when you wake up and look in the mirror, and negitive thoughts instantly come into your mind? you start putting yourself down? those are the days you know will be hard days. you instanty know then it's gonna be a long day full of saddness and insecurity.

thats why on those days i wear a favorite shabby apple dress like camps elysees. 
i wear it with white and gold pin stripped tights, navey socks coming out of my combat boots.

or i wear my vintage inspired skirt that heather sewed with yellow tights, stripped socks, and my ancestor shoes.

because then i might just feel cute. and i might get more complimants. and complimants make for a good day.


word on the street.

justin and selena have adopted a huskey mix together. it goes by the name of baylor. it is actually rather adorable. but i just have to say. this offically tells me they are serious. as if 8 months of dating couldn't tell me that. good for her..... depressing for me.

they are pretty adorable though.


it's been a hoot.

fall break so far? fabulous. plenty of shoppin, 2 new pairs of shoes, some heels and boots. a new unitard for dance - it is adorable. some new spankies, some fitted sweats - gotta love em' much more flattering then walmart sweats. a new sweater and just a cute shirt. eatin at main street pizza and noodle only a family favorite, park city and alipine coaster, gotta love it. and some driving around chatting with lisa and meghan. its good for the soul. sleep over with brianne plenty of new and fabulous memories made. and i think there is much more fun to come in the day left of the break. life is good.

fred 2. night of the living fred. tonight?? sooo excited.

and wanna know something? life is so much more joyful when you realize what you've been blessed with. yesterdaythe way home from park city there was an ambulance and people on stretchers and a destroyed car. things like this make me wanna cry. i can only imagine how all those people are feeling, i can only hope for the best for them and there families. it reminded me of a year ago when my mumsy pappy and little brother got in a pretty bad car crash. just moments before my little brother had no seatbelt on until he saw a sign saying 'buckle up - it's the law' if he hadn't seen that just moments earlier he wouldn't be here today.
 my family is so truely blessed. i have a mom and dad and 5 wonderful siblings who love me and support me through everything. i don't know what i would do without them. i also have plenty of amazing friends. we take so much for granted. i can't even express my graditude for the fact i have a bed to sleep in everynight, when i come home after playing with friends there is a hot dinner on my kitchen table waiting for me.
everyone gets insecure sometimes and sometimes i get so caught up in thinking i'm too short and my thighs are too big and my face is too round. but in reality im blessed. i have a healthy body. i can eat and breath on my own. i can walk and talk. i'm truely blessed.
don't let this life pass you by. your attitude makes all the difference. so count your blessings and smile.



obviously you can see monday was a downer for me.. that night i got in the shower, the water was cold. i started crying. i'm pathetic. it was just a stressfull day. which looking back now on my break down i kinda laugh. not about the shoes or pants or grasshopper. just about the shower part.

but on the bright side i have an awesome dad and younger brother. i wouldn't even put a foot in that room. i made my mom go in there to get me my homework and ipod. my little brother mocked me and said 'it's not some beast-it won't eat you' but the truth is i hate grasshoppers. i would rather be attacked by sasquatch then a grasshopper. so together my dad and little brother spent a very long time searching my room for it until they finally found it. my older brother would have helped too. but he was at work til late.

another up. mistletoe came out on monday. that sure made me happy. it's been on repeat. justin is far too cute. and his voice his amazing.

tuesday was my half birthday. i got a pretty amazing present... this video.
i could watch it ALL day. that kiss at the end. it kills me. cutest thing of my life. why can't it be me?? someone please explain.
next tuesday. justin and usher. chestnuts.
can't wait.

p.s. sorry for the long boring posts. ill try and do better.


heres too.... sadness??

today isn't my day. to start it all off i got to p.e. first period to find my 7 month year old $80 dashing nikes have been stolen. electric blue with neon yellow checks on the side. adorable for running. and they support my feet quite well.
after i struggled to make do with working out in my socks i got into the locker room to change. as i went to put my pants on i noticed a rip in the side. i think someone in my class has my combo stole my shoes then during class ripped my pants??? or as i got them out of my locker they got stuck on something and ripped?? no clue. all i know is they wern't ripped this morning when i left to school or when i took them off for p.e. and they wern't any old pants, they were my favorite pants. not just jeans, but these: http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=71962&vid=1&pid=863933&scid=863933002  only the cutest. thankfully i had a long cardigan on covering up the hole on the side of my thigh, but this being the third and last time of wearing those wonders. i almost broke down right there in the middle of school.
i then go to dance (which was fabulous as always) i come home listen to mistletoe 10 times then put on sweats and get in my cozy bed to read black heels to tracker wheels as i wait for delicious grilled chicken to be done cooking thinking i could just be turning my day around.
when of course to prove my wrong and top off this horrid day my little brother comes in my room asking me if i found the grasshopper him and my older brother put in my room..... hold up there the GRASSHOPPER they put in my room. yes it was alive....
let me fill you in on something. i hate grasshoppers. i mean HATE grasshoppers. if one is sitting on my porch i go through my back door to get outside. i wont walk past it in fear it will attack me. when my friend savannah captured one in her hands i almost started crying because i thought she would start chasing me with it any moment.
i left my book my homework my ipod and all my clothes in my room. much to scared to go back down there and retrieve my stuff. i wish i could be in my bed reading, or listening to adele. but no instead i'm now blogging after an hour straight of crying and planning my revenge. during that hour my brother searched my room with my results of finding a grasshopper. i am furious.
my plan was to pee in a water bottle and dump it on their pillows. of course as my dad finds of this plan he tells me it isn't aloud and pranks need to stop... only more dissapointment.
yes maybe i asked for it because i hid in tylers car late one night scaring him and his girlfriend to death when he tried taking her home, and maybe i hid a rotten peach in his bed, and maybe i dumped garlic powder in his water.
but he hid that peach in my bed the next day, he planned on dumping that garlic water on me on picture day after i curled my hair did my make up instead he drentched me with water unexpectdly one saturday, i attempted to spray water on him too, but of course i failed.
yes i prank him all the time, he pranks me all the time. but i would rather drink some garlic water or have garlic water all over me after im ready for the day. anything then that live grasshopper still somewhere hidden away in my room..


heres to happiness.

10 things that have been making me happy lately.

1. its fall. its fall. its fall. its fall. and halloween is for sure included in this.
2. justin biebers new single and music video tommarow... whhh?
3.  having a family that honestly supports me and cares for me, no matter what.
4. the fact you can put me and my friends in a room for 5 hours and we can be so completely entertained. bordem would never cross our paths.
5. dance. its something i always look forward too. it's going so great for me right now.
6. i ran into a big pile of hay on accident and then flew backwards and fell on my face. the next day i was on a swing and my butt accidently came off of the swing and i landed on my back. things like this make me laugh way to hard and make me way to happy.
7. waking up at 6 for a youth morning side then going on fabulous sunday drives with friends(:
8. reading diaries and journals from 5 years ago.
9.  oatmeal and hot chocolate for breakfast.
10. hannah montana - you think this is a joke but it isn't.

i think i can add a bonus one?
heels. i love high heels. i'm such a small girl they totally work for me too.
and i suppose i feel like everyone laughs at me if i wear them to school with jeans, but i love the looks of heels with jeans, or any pants for that fact. so when i'm feeling spontaneous. i do it anyway.

inspired by rockstar diaries.
if you don't read her blog, its a must to start now.


just 2 years of waiting.

it's official i already know how i'm going to ask a boy to the first girls choice dance i go to in highschool.
i will leave a note that says 'sorry i "pea-d" on your porch, i just got so excited thinking of going to (insert name of dance here) with you.' then i'll dump frozen peas all over their porch.
i was inspired to do this by kellee jo. click on the link below(:
she is so cute. died of laughter when i saw it.
anyone else as humored as me? 


tag... your it.

ive been tagged by this lady.
lets see if i can successfully tell you 7 facts about myself without boring you to death.

1. im just completely insane. not even sure how i would explain it. but i'm out of control and i love creepin on people in public... or just being in public and giving everyone a good laugh by my random dancing or singing or whatever im doing.
2. i'm a little one. 9th grader and just a half an inch away from being 5 foot.
3. i'm not sure if anyone face book stalks as hard as do. i'm reality im sure everyone does in secret like me... but it's so creepy i have a hard time believing i'm not the only one.
4. i love shopping and i love clothes. my style is honestly way different then anyone else's at the junior high. i don't dig the 'aeropostal t-shirts' i perfer vintage inspired.
5. i prefer talking over texting.
6. if i'm not pulling a prank what am i doing?
7. i actually like reading... i get weak knees over nicholas sparks.

the next victims? kate, chloe, karinajade, angela.


i heart this weather.

lets just say. it's fall. it's perfect.
this is only slightly delayed but wednesday was fabulous, as if attending four dance classes wasn't enough to make me smile as i was dancing i would look out the studio windows, and see the grey sky and rain on the windows. and i don't know why but i LOVE dancing at looking out the windows to see grey, gloom, and rain. it just makes me happy. and to top it all off i came home from dance to taco soup and hot orange rolls. i love when its gloomy outside just to cuddle up on the couch with a mug of soup. soup weather is the best. thursdays snow storm was a little much for me. you can't skip fall and go straight to winter. because fall is my favorite. but today made up for that. i went to my little brothers football game and it was wonderfull, chilly -sweater and blanket needed chilly- but i wasn't freezing my butt off. the air was crisp. deffinition of perfect fall day. the football game was also nice. nothing like wrestling with my sister on the side lines and watching my brother make two out of the four touch downs that were made. and lastly, must i include, it's finally time for me to wear sweaters, boots, scarves, and of course tights. im so excited i even bought more tights today. i couldn't be more extatic to the fact it finally feels like fall. life is currently perfect.


the story of sage volkman

i strongly advise you to read this it is long but it's an absolutely amazing story. read the whole thing or else you won't get the same effect. it was told during efy along with a picture of the little 7year old all burned in her moms arms. the room was just filled with tears. i have tried finding the picture and haven't been able to yet. if i ever do come across it i'll make sure i post it. now try holding back those tears while you read it.