even on my weakest days. i get a little bit stronger.

i realize if it am going to have a good summer i am going to be happy. and sometimes faking it til you make it is a lot of work. but i realized one thing that can really help you be happy and keep you smiling is talking to the right people. obviously we need to get our feelings out we need to express ourselves. i would like to thank india severe. because she made me happy this weekend. as i explained all my feelings to her replies she made my day.

"courtney. so many girls are jealous of you including me. remember who you are. your unique. unbelievably gorgeous. i know that because i know you. your so down to earth, you know your place. you have so many friends. you have it all. i'm so sorry your struggling. your beautiful please never forget that."

i left alot of the stuff she said out because it was all over a 11 page text message. but thats just what stood out most and what i thought i would share with you all. when your sad and down find the people worth talking to. find the ones that care are there to help as listen and will be honest. someone who looks past your flaws and know how to find the good. because they are the people that will put the smile on your face.


if you were a cow i'd be your utter

so i returned from my cabin. it was nice just living like pioners. the only water we had was the water pump placed outside of the cabin. there was a leak in a pipe and there was no way to get water into our cabin through that pipe. so we would fill up buckets of water some we would boil to fill the bath tub with. but really would only fill the tub up about an inch. we would have a bucket of water and soap to wash our hands in. we would fill cups of watch to brush our teeth with. we had a bucket of water to pour fastly into the toliet resulting in forcing the toliet to flush. though i must admit i was totally fine peeing in the bushes. because i slightly love that. no i'm not a man. but my old granny bird thought it was complete rubish and would allow no such things. we would boil water to wash our face with and we would boil water to wash dishes in. everytime we wanted this water we would go outside with a bucket and fill it with our nifty pump. i thought the weekend was rather fun and cute.


i'm done with how it feels spinin my wheels.

i'm leaving for grandpas cabin tomarrow. dream come true. i've been in PG for less then a week and i'm already done with it and fed up with life again. hopefully this break from my phone good and appriciated. hopefully it will clear my mind and i'll stop thinking about life. hopefully i can listen to my music and color in my princess coloring book in peace. hopefully my family can be happy and nice. hopefully this camping trip will be the dream vacation and break i need. and i may just need one of these every weekend.

crowd surfin all the way. cowabunga.

if you need some idea for a prank. just click here. because this happened to cailey. she blogged. i died. it's all cool.


Where is the love?

Right now I'm not even sure how to happy. There's a period of everyday where I just cry and I don't know why, I'm just feel sick of life because everyday is the same old thing, and at the end of each day I never feel satisfied I just feel like I need a change I need something different.  I need some miracle to come and make me feel better, maybe it's a person, maybe it's a song, maybe it's a quote. But I need something to permantly change my views of life. Cause right now I wish there was a button I could press that just says I'm done with life I'm sick of it and I'm ready to just give up. I need someone to talk to that actually makes me feel better rather then saying you idiot stop being sad. Cause obviously that isn't helping. I need to be happy I need this summer to be perfect I need to get rid of that dreading feeling that i have each morning when i wake up. I need to keep busy and keep my mind off of things until that miracle comes. I need people around me to show love and there happiness or else I'll only be brought down more. I need my dad to get a job so I can take endless dance classes, so this summer I can live in sweat and Spankies because right now the only thing that seems to make me happy is dancing. And my hour and a half I have once a week just simply isn't enough. 

i forgot one important detail..

oh i think i forgot to mention hip hop workshop at house of mayhem??
too good to be true.
did i mention workshop was taught by one of the jabawakeez??
just one simple highlight of the trip.


dance tour 2011

i've returned from san fran and let me tell you it was fantastic.

there was hobos or some interesting character every corner we turned.

my favorite hobo of all. he would jump out at people.

we got to play on the beach

i lost control and went insane. typical.

we went to alcatraz. and to a baseball game. we visited the sea lions. and we saw the golden gate bridge.

i got to do what i love best. PERFORM.

showcase U.S.A is the best i enjoyed getting security called on us every night and just spending time with all the fabulous girls. we sure rocked san fransisco. can't wait for next years summer tour. disney land(:


i know that my redeemer lives. what comfort this sweet sentence gives.

cleaning out the drawers in my desk i found three sticky notes. almost just tossing them i decided i should read them first and see what they were.
 i found two scriptures: "and the righteous shall attain never ending happiness" and
"have you spiritually been born of god? have ye recieved his imagine in your countanance? Do ye exrcise faith in the redemption of him who created you?"
(i bolded the main part that made me smile. just F.Y.I)
i also found a lyric to a church hymn which said: who am i to judge another when i walk imperfectly?
and a little quote saying: devote five minutes a day to smiling. soon it will come naturally.

well lets just put it this way. they were writtin down and put in the desk drawer for a reason. never just throw any old papers a way because you never know if that one thing could be the key to a happy day for you.


movie quotes. whats better?

'when your young everything feels like the end of the world. but it's not. it's just the begining. you might have to meet a few more jerks but one day your gonna meet the boy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. like the sun rises and sets with you.'


just thought i'd let you know..

i'm so greatful to be a mormon. theres not a better feeling in the world then the spirit. feeling the spirit to me is just like a promise that the church is real and the power of the holy ghost is real because if it all wasn't true then we wouldn't have feelings that strong. and our emotions wouldn't get that high. and as mormans we have to have high standards and sometimes it might be hard to give stuff up but just think of all the blessings we will have in the end. think of the rewards we will get when we return with jesus christ and heavenly father. which just returning with them is a major reward itself. 'i never said it would be easy. but i said it would be worth it' one of my favorite sayings because it's true. if we keep the standards and stand for what we believe in then in the end we will be happier then we've ever been. i can honestly say over youth conference my testemony has grown more then ever. and at girls camp people always say my testimony has grown so much. i've never really been able to say that never really had a experience of my testimony getting stronger and stronger fastly but now i have. i really wasn't looking forward to youth conference at all at first but i'm so glad i went. if i could do it all over again i would in a heartbeat. i was surrounded by a lot of really inspiring people that are turning there whole lifes around for the better just because of youth conference. i know the spirit was with us that whole weekend strongly. sorry to bring the church into my blog, lately i've had a lot of spiritual things on here but it's just what i believe in lately feelings of the spirit have been here really strong with me and helping me through tons. even before youth conference and then it was brought to a whole new level. but now that i'm done i must finish packing for san fran cause were leaving tonight. from the time i got home from youth conference to the time i'm leaving for dance tour won't even add to 24 hours. i guess this just adds on to the missing friends and family.


morman messages: my new life.

hopefully you clicked on the link and watched the whole thing because that was the point of me posting it. and if you didn't. please procede to do so now.
well i've got good news. in case you didn't know she has a blog. and i'm guessing you like blogs considering your here reading mine. i strongly advise you to read her blog because it's not just 'another blog' it's fabulous. with a story like hers how could it not be amazing and inspiring?
her faith is unbelievable and whenever i'm sad or down or my faith is being tested i just read her blog.
no need to comment why. enough has been said.


baby you've got the sort of hands to rip me apart and baby you've got the sort of face to start this whole heart.

i had a major sunburn. redder then you could imagine. it then turned into an amazing tan resulting me looking indian. and now it's all peeling away and i'm back to winter skin. i'm more depressed then ever. from now on i'll wear a little bit of sun screen get that perfect tan and since that tan won't have come from a sunburn it will stay. so now you hear my sad story and my advice to you. learn from my mistakes.


you don't look a day over fast cars and freedom

life is insane. my room has clothes, and fabric, and junk thrown every where.which is why i should be cleaning my room right now when i come home from san fran it will feel cozy and welcoming. but i'm not in the mood so instead i'm scheduling tons of posts because tomarrow i will  be packing and preparing for dance tour. thursday-saturday i will be gone at youth conference where blogging isn't acceptable or possible. and then i have sunday home to rest and finish packing then after a hopeful good nights rest i'll leave bright and early monday morning to the dance studio where we will load the bus's for san fransisco. and i will be there in the warm california weather all week long. hopefully i can find some wi fi at our hotel but i'll most likely be to busy and having to much fun so i'll just schedule some posts here and there so my blog won't be completely vacant for that long week and a half.

Xing xia ji!


this dance will be better then your favorite icecream.

summer has started off great. me and 16 other girls got together thursday night and had a sleepover. we climbed trees and seranaded each other, we slid down the mountain in sabrinas backyard, and we had a spooning line considering we all slept outside and it was 30 degree weather. next morning woken by the sun we got ready and left for 7peaks lets say we had a creep fest. and were all fried. my skin is so red, i now feel the pain of all those who often get sunburns. usually my olive skin gets nothing but brown, but first time in sun? no sunscreen? i'm a lobster i've been forced to sleep on frozen corn bags and it takes 15min to get my clothes on cause of the pain. but me and my girls are all suffering together. and we love it. summer. thanks for blessing us with your exsistance.


my new favorite...

blog...i am kelle jo
song... my wish--rascal flatts

when it's cold outside show the world the warmth of your smile

lets face it school is over. yesterday we had a yearbook party at pizza factory just to end the year in a fun way. today 9th graders are all at lagoon, new yearbook staff came in so we could 'train' them in recycling, today i walked around with no binder because yesterday was locker clean out no more need for paper and pencils. today i slept in through first period, came for second, our hour long flex, lunch, and half of third periode then i left the school again. tomarrow is yearbook day and i'm not even going to bother showing up on the last day. so lets face it school is over. happy? yes, i miss swimming, sleeping in, staying up late, my mexican skin, shorts, sandles, finding the need to shave. but sad? yes. 8th grade was eaisly best and yet worst year. only because drama has caught up to me, i've had my share of tears this year but it was also the best because i learned a lot. i have so much variety of friends and i'm much more out going now, i see who likes me for me, and i'm not affraid of letting personality out, i've expirenced so much more, i know life has it's up and downs, and this year wasn't all smiles but it was sure the most exciting, most eventful. this year was perfect and i wouldn't change a thing about it.

so here is to 8th grade.